just like i wrote about the wolf pack in southeast asia, leaving seoul deserves its own blurb as well.
not that i havent written about it extensively for more than a year here.
but this time around--it's different.
when i left--most of what i fondly dubbed the 'family' stayed for another year.
even though we all lived on our own--the weekends, and many weeknights--we were spent together.
family dinners. mostly out at restaurants. sometimes in, when the more maternal ones would cook.
we spent a family christmas at a pension in the mountains.
put up stockings for everyone.
had a family dinner--complete with crowns and all.
opened presents on christmas morning.
spent the night to music. games.
(canadian) thanksgiving happened on one of my friends' roofs.
we laid out a blanket, weighed down by candles around the perimeter.
had an incredible meal, then lit fireworks from the top of the building.
seoul's skyline in the background.
summertime was dedicated to cycling and spending time outside, by the river.
one of the best summer days--a friend and i cycled by the han river.
went swimming at the public pool there.
saw a movie. ate a 5$ designer cupcake in seoul's ritziest area. had dinner.
then spent the rest of the night with tall boys in a park across from his flat.
so many experiences spanning a year i cant begin to summarise here.
but now we're all dispersing--possibly for good.
the friends who stayed for another year are leaving.
seoul will never be the same.
god--i miss it.
the core family unit--
rina--the whimsical, lovely cali girl and my partner photog in crime.
seb--cheeky australian who was a dj, thus getting us into the best clubs all the time.
ryan--my husband who always kept me in line, and took such good care of me.
cody--portlander with an impeccable taste in music.
katie--the whole package. another kindred spirits. gorgeous. tall. smart. loving.
lauren--another cheeky brit. another kindred spirit. we'd have necessary and precious post-mortems after any night out.
lisa k.--a frequent addition to our family. she and i used to spend hours agonising, stewing in the messes in our heads.
when you get a bunch of foreigners with similar ideals, life philosophies in one city that is perpetually awake. alive in lights. soaked in soju and a haze of smoke.
makes for an equally raw atmosphere.
every experience, emotion is amplified.
everything is more intense.
the satiation, volatility of it all is enough to send your head into overdrive.
as it did mine.
and maybe part of the reason i knew i had to leave, besides my journalism ambitions.
that kind of lifestyle can only be sustained for so long.
i miss korea like ive never missed another city before.
not even london (uk).
the people really do make a place.
and ive really met more than my share of kindred, wonderful spirits.
gahhh, nostalgia.
(again, photos, if interested.)
Monday, February 20, 2012
a year ago today.
a year ago today i took my 40 litre backpack off for a month and a half through southeast asia.
such a mess of everything in my head.
leaving seoul was hard enough.
everything familiar to me for a year.
all those wild nights, bright lights about which ive so nostalgically reminisced here and everywhere.
but also--the first big trip id be taking completely on my own.
i mean--years ago i did a jaunt to paris for a week after my internship in london uk finished, but i mean--it's paris.
i have a french minor. most speak some percentage of english.
and it's very very developed.
but southeast asia was another beast--i wasnt ready to leave korea (dont think ill fully ever have left, in a sense) and it wasnt just a week on my own.
but my god--i knew if i pushed myself to do it id be better for it in the end.
and i was right.
i wouldnt have gotten to know the friends i made in the same way had i been traveling with someone else.
when youre alone--youre much more receptive to meeting new people.
being social.
and my god--some of the best nights of my life (aside from those in seoul!^^) occurred there.
i fell in love with a group of us whom one of the british girls lovingly named the 'wolf pack' while going through lao.
we all met after our bus between siem reap, cambodia and southern lao broke down.
we were holed up in a tiny border city for a night.
we braved peeping toms at our windows there.
had lazy morning breakfasts by the mekong river under hazy sun in four thousand islands.
biked through dried up rice paddies on shoddy rental bicycles in don det.
hiked through mountain paths discovering caves and traversing rivers thigh-deep in rainy vang vieng.
at nights we'd dress up for dinner.
then go out for drinks that were only sold in buckets.
at places that really only had campfire seating and hammocks.
we were so in love we would push the beds together in one of our rooms, leave the second room completely empty and all crash together and fall asleep to a movie.
i miss these people terribly.
a lot of travel friendships are just that--travel friendships.
that really dont continue on after the trip ends, esp because the one thing you had in common--the trip and experiences themselves--fall out of context.
but im still talking to many of these people. that's how i know.
tom--the american whose travel philosophies i admired to no end.
frenchie--the hilarious half moroccan, half algerian french-by-passport who was the daddy of our group.
jessy--my british soulmate-slash-mirror-of-myself--whose moods i could read without her ever having to say a word.
cat--the other cheeky brit whose incredible motherly nature fit so oddly well with her sexual openness.
raechelle--our representation from new zealand.
christian--the austrian who joined us mid-trip from southern lao.
jenny--a lovely fowl-mouthed german girl who didnt take shit from anyone.
and lisa--a small asian-canadian always posing the group for photos obsessively.
a year has gone by since this trip began.
odd to think about how much things have changed since.
working a job im desperately in love with, but that doesnt make me miss it any less.
(photos, in case youre interested.)
such a mess of everything in my head.
leaving seoul was hard enough.
everything familiar to me for a year.
all those wild nights, bright lights about which ive so nostalgically reminisced here and everywhere.
but also--the first big trip id be taking completely on my own.
i mean--years ago i did a jaunt to paris for a week after my internship in london uk finished, but i mean--it's paris.
i have a french minor. most speak some percentage of english.
and it's very very developed.
but southeast asia was another beast--i wasnt ready to leave korea (dont think ill fully ever have left, in a sense) and it wasnt just a week on my own.
but my god--i knew if i pushed myself to do it id be better for it in the end.
and i was right.
i wouldnt have gotten to know the friends i made in the same way had i been traveling with someone else.
when youre alone--youre much more receptive to meeting new people.
being social.
and my god--some of the best nights of my life (aside from those in seoul!^^) occurred there.
i fell in love with a group of us whom one of the british girls lovingly named the 'wolf pack' while going through lao.
we all met after our bus between siem reap, cambodia and southern lao broke down.
we were holed up in a tiny border city for a night.
we braved peeping toms at our windows there.
had lazy morning breakfasts by the mekong river under hazy sun in four thousand islands.
biked through dried up rice paddies on shoddy rental bicycles in don det.
hiked through mountain paths discovering caves and traversing rivers thigh-deep in rainy vang vieng.
at nights we'd dress up for dinner.
then go out for drinks that were only sold in buckets.
at places that really only had campfire seating and hammocks.
we were so in love we would push the beds together in one of our rooms, leave the second room completely empty and all crash together and fall asleep to a movie.
i miss these people terribly.
a lot of travel friendships are just that--travel friendships.
that really dont continue on after the trip ends, esp because the one thing you had in common--the trip and experiences themselves--fall out of context.
but im still talking to many of these people. that's how i know.
tom--the american whose travel philosophies i admired to no end.
frenchie--the hilarious half moroccan, half algerian french-by-passport who was the daddy of our group.
jessy--my british soulmate-slash-mirror-of-myself--whose moods i could read without her ever having to say a word.
cat--the other cheeky brit whose incredible motherly nature fit so oddly well with her sexual openness.
raechelle--our representation from new zealand.
christian--the austrian who joined us mid-trip from southern lao.
jenny--a lovely fowl-mouthed german girl who didnt take shit from anyone.
and lisa--a small asian-canadian always posing the group for photos obsessively.
a year has gone by since this trip began.
odd to think about how much things have changed since.
working a job im desperately in love with, but that doesnt make me miss it any less.
(photos, in case youre interested.)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
favourite friend quotes.
lastly--favourite friend quotes from over the years i deleted off fb.
dont usually use names, but i mean--first names.
and i want to give credit to the brilliant. :)
------------------------------------------------------------------
i know that in 10 years ALL the money i make will be going towards kids and that's why i spend all my money on myself and indulge on things i can't afford. like luxurious accessories and travel. - jenee
sometimes, a girl just needs to be touched. - nikki
it's like when you're trying to get slim, you give up cream on your frappuccino, but when you get slim again, you can afford cream again. - moni
what's a synonym for "Polish"? - moni
lisa, as a woman, you don't know how to make a man feel useful. - mat
come on. - mat's british accent, unfitting situation
oh my god--is that nuclear power? - andrea, upon seeing a universal adapter
but...is it scary....? you know, the sound.... - andrea, on going to a shooting range.
you got to the top first, lisa...in the human category. - andrea, on my sand dune ascent, in comparison to the berber's stupefying athleticism.
me (on loving to eat): im such a fatso.
mat: yeh right. you just poo a lot.
yaxi--the only reason boys like you is because you're small. and because you're small, you look like a doll! - my mother.
-----------------------------
ashish's email to pepsi--
Where has Vanilla Pepsi gone? I loved that stuff. You need to bring it back, my quality of life has decreased since it has been discontinued!
pepsi's reply to ashish--
RE: Pepsi Vanilla , REF.# 055288686A
Hello Ashish:
Thanks for your message. Unfortunately, we will not be producing this product anymore. Although Pepsi Vanilla was very popular at one time, its popularity has diminished over time. Due to declining sales, some stores have chosen not to carry this product. This situation has forced us to discontinue production. Thank you for your interest in our Company and products.
Sincerely, Angella consumerrelations@en.pepsi.ca
-----------------------------
you truly are the modern image of a woman. one day you can be the perfect wife. your husband will come home to you and ask you what you made for dinner and you can proudly announce "reservations!" - ashish.
let me put this in a nice way--you are too liberal!!! - my father at the breakfast table
youre like bob dylan, shakira and julio cortazar combined compared to these people. - mat, expressing extreme boredom.
everything comes with a price tag! - my father, upon hearing tiger woods's wife wanted a divorce.
make a weight goal for your next boyfriend. - ashish.
...You DEFINITELY need to buy yourself a couple of larger, good-looking summer shirts that you can button UP!!! Furthermore, your lipstick color was too dark... -D. - my father, upon watching one of my stories. where i wasnt actually wearing makeup.
How did he manage to have a bird land in his hand? That's amazing on its own, your father's very smug "get like me" face as I would like to call it makes the picture that much funnier.A truly inspirational man, you could learn a lot from someone like him....(I am kidding)....(Not the inspirational part, that's the truth. I've always wanted to have this sort of power with nature). - ashish, in response to me sending him a hilarious photo of my father with a bird on his hand.
the sting of missing my (my last name) is a resounding torturing. -codycakes
oh my god if you are a blimp i am a small satelitte. --adam
portable - mat's first response as to what my assets are
puntable - tom's response
(katie puts on a song on her computer when we were in her kiddie pool in the backyard today.)
me: is this the white girl who i thought was black?
katie: ...... lisa. it's justin bieber.
dont usually use names, but i mean--first names.
and i want to give credit to the brilliant. :)
------------------------------------------------------------------
i know that in 10 years ALL the money i make will be going towards kids and that's why i spend all my money on myself and indulge on things i can't afford. like luxurious accessories and travel. - jenee
sometimes, a girl just needs to be touched. - nikki
it's like when you're trying to get slim, you give up cream on your frappuccino, but when you get slim again, you can afford cream again. - moni
what's a synonym for "Polish"? - moni
lisa, as a woman, you don't know how to make a man feel useful. - mat
come on. - mat's british accent, unfitting situation
oh my god--is that nuclear power? - andrea, upon seeing a universal adapter
but...is it scary....? you know, the sound.... - andrea, on going to a shooting range.
you got to the top first, lisa...in the human category. - andrea, on my sand dune ascent, in comparison to the berber's stupefying athleticism.
me (on loving to eat): im such a fatso.
mat: yeh right. you just poo a lot.
yaxi--the only reason boys like you is because you're small. and because you're small, you look like a doll! - my mother.
-----------------------------
ashish's email to pepsi--
Where has Vanilla Pepsi gone? I loved that stuff. You need to bring it back, my quality of life has decreased since it has been discontinued!
pepsi's reply to ashish--
RE: Pepsi Vanilla , REF.# 055288686A
Hello Ashish:
Thanks for your message. Unfortunately, we will not be producing this product anymore. Although Pepsi Vanilla was very popular at one time, its popularity has diminished over time. Due to declining sales, some stores have chosen not to carry this product. This situation has forced us to discontinue production. Thank you for your interest in our Company and products.
Sincerely, Angella consumerrelations@en.pepsi.ca
-----------------------------
you truly are the modern image of a woman. one day you can be the perfect wife. your husband will come home to you and ask you what you made for dinner and you can proudly announce "reservations!" - ashish.
let me put this in a nice way--you are too liberal!!! - my father at the breakfast table
youre like bob dylan, shakira and julio cortazar combined compared to these people. - mat, expressing extreme boredom.
everything comes with a price tag! - my father, upon hearing tiger woods's wife wanted a divorce.
make a weight goal for your next boyfriend. - ashish.
...You DEFINITELY need to buy yourself a couple of larger, good-looking summer shirts that you can button UP!!! Furthermore, your lipstick color was too dark... -D. - my father, upon watching one of my stories. where i wasnt actually wearing makeup.
How did he manage to have a bird land in his hand? That's amazing on its own, your father's very smug "get like me" face as I would like to call it makes the picture that much funnier.A truly inspirational man, you could learn a lot from someone like him....(I am kidding)....(Not the inspirational part, that's the truth. I've always wanted to have this sort of power with nature). - ashish, in response to me sending him a hilarious photo of my father with a bird on his hand.
the sting of missing my (my last name) is a resounding torturing. -codycakes
oh my god if you are a blimp i am a small satelitte. --adam
portable - mat's first response as to what my assets are
puntable - tom's response
(katie puts on a song on her computer when we were in her kiddie pool in the backyard today.)
me: is this the white girl who i thought was black?
katie: ...... lisa. it's justin bieber.
favourite literary quotes.
more content deleted from facebook.
my favourite literary quotes of all time--
------------------------------------------------------------------
favourite literary quotes--
i loved her against reason. against promise. against peace. against hope, against happiness. against all discouragement that could be.
-charles dickens, great expectations
but i don't want comfort. i want God, i want poetry, i want real danger, i want freedom, i want goodness. i want sin. - aldous huxley, brave new world
don't cry, don't speak of separation, i just want to fly to the other side of the night. - wei hui, shanghai baby
three things, simple, but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. - bertrand russell
at one time, words were the only things that I felt any loyalty to, and each boyfriend or experience was -- sometimes quite heartlessly -- just material for a poem. that started to change when I fell in love. - jewel
break the wineglass and fall toward the glassblower's breath. - rumi, the new rule
a knight is a man who pays for his glory and freedom by oiling and scrubbing and patching and polishing. or he doesn't get to keep them. it's by bearing mail and sword that he becomes strong, and by bearing hardship that he becomes brave. there is no other way. if he is required to fight, he fights. he doesn't count his foes or measure their strength. they don't affect his decision. - gene wolfe
the people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars... - jack kerouac
making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman). - milan kundera, the unbearable lightness of being
we turned at a dozen paces, for love is a duel, and looked at each other for the last time. - jack kerouac, on the road
the light of our tent burned on the frightful plain. the cowboy music twanged in the roadhouse and carried across the fields, all sadness. it was all right with me. i kissed my baby and we put out the lights. - jack kerouac, on the road
my favourite literary quotes of all time--
------------------------------------------------------------------
favourite literary quotes--
i loved her against reason. against promise. against peace. against hope, against happiness. against all discouragement that could be.
-charles dickens, great expectations
but i don't want comfort. i want God, i want poetry, i want real danger, i want freedom, i want goodness. i want sin. - aldous huxley, brave new world
don't cry, don't speak of separation, i just want to fly to the other side of the night. - wei hui, shanghai baby
three things, simple, but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. - bertrand russell
at one time, words were the only things that I felt any loyalty to, and each boyfriend or experience was -- sometimes quite heartlessly -- just material for a poem. that started to change when I fell in love. - jewel
break the wineglass and fall toward the glassblower's breath. - rumi, the new rule
a knight is a man who pays for his glory and freedom by oiling and scrubbing and patching and polishing. or he doesn't get to keep them. it's by bearing mail and sword that he becomes strong, and by bearing hardship that he becomes brave. there is no other way. if he is required to fight, he fights. he doesn't count his foes or measure their strength. they don't affect his decision. - gene wolfe
the people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars... - jack kerouac
making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman). - milan kundera, the unbearable lightness of being
we turned at a dozen paces, for love is a duel, and looked at each other for the last time. - jack kerouac, on the road
the light of our tent burned on the frightful plain. the cowboy music twanged in the roadhouse and carried across the fields, all sadness. it was all right with me. i kissed my baby and we put out the lights. - jack kerouac, on the road
favourite things.
when facebook first launched--info fields like quotes, books and other interests were a lot more important to fill out.
not so much anymore.
but i always kept a virtual sticky note with all of them.
here they are.
------------------------------------------------------------------
favourite activities--
photography, eating, cruising to disney, t-shirt painting, uninhibitedly sneezing, sleeping in, barbecues, bonfires, travel writing, list-making, knitting, wearing pjs, bra shopping, mosh pits, sledding, skating, ziplining, jiu jitsu, pole dancing, shows, snowman-making, finding seashells, hot tubbing, photo boothing, massages, munchies, camping, fishing, sitting on roofs, smelling new books, jewelry-making, crafts, road trips, travel.
favourite things--
poetry, literature, maple syrup on toast, spontaneity, beer, wine, chocolate with milk, languages, post-it notes, white hot chocolate, puppies, elephants, value village, arrowroot cookies, defined forearms, black nail polish, piercings, hockey, nutella, funnel cake, polka dots, plaid, scarves, lobster, china, eastern canada, mangoes, pearls, flannel/satin sheets, bunny ear headbands, booty shorts, chalah, big sweatshirts, stretchy clothes, concert tees, haribo, ribena blackcurrant juice, djarum.
not so much anymore.
but i always kept a virtual sticky note with all of them.
here they are.
------------------------------------------------------------------
favourite activities--
photography, eating, cruising to disney, t-shirt painting, uninhibitedly sneezing, sleeping in, barbecues, bonfires, travel writing, list-making, knitting, wearing pjs, bra shopping, mosh pits, sledding, skating, ziplining, jiu jitsu, pole dancing, shows, snowman-making, finding seashells, hot tubbing, photo boothing, massages, munchies, camping, fishing, sitting on roofs, smelling new books, jewelry-making, crafts, road trips, travel.
favourite things--
poetry, literature, maple syrup on toast, spontaneity, beer, wine, chocolate with milk, languages, post-it notes, white hot chocolate, puppies, elephants, value village, arrowroot cookies, defined forearms, black nail polish, piercings, hockey, nutella, funnel cake, polka dots, plaid, scarves, lobster, china, eastern canada, mangoes, pearls, flannel/satin sheets, bunny ear headbands, booty shorts, chalah, big sweatshirts, stretchy clothes, concert tees, haribo, ribena blackcurrant juice, djarum.
need. loathe.
new sleep pattern--pass out with lights on at 4am.
wake up at 6am.
pass out again at 630am.
wake up at 1130am.
---------------------------------
this detachment.
noncommittal sentiments toward a prototype of what love should be.
dont fit me anymore.
a friend texted me before feb. 14 to ask what she should get her newly acquired lover-slash-boyfriend-slash-something-in-between.
just by my initial reaction to that alone--realised im not a kid anymore.
years ago--wanted to fall in love.
wanted cookie cutter shapes.
wanted all the cliches, rhymes.
and i got it all.
but bc all of that fell away.
bc i spent two years fixing myself.
starting at ground zero.
realised my priorities have changed.
im now not in denial when i say i want to be selfish.
solely focused on me.
there's actually no part that wants the swept-away sentiments of years previous.
not that im completely tuning it out.
there are just parts of myself that are more important right now than my heart.
for once. thank god. :)
think im happier this way.
dont miss it.
definitely dont welcome it.
and if it does come along--
want them to both need me.
yet loathe me.
somewhat sadistic.
mb the easiest way to stay unaffected. hrm.
wake up at 6am.
pass out again at 630am.
wake up at 1130am.
---------------------------------
this detachment.
noncommittal sentiments toward a prototype of what love should be.
dont fit me anymore.
a friend texted me before feb. 14 to ask what she should get her newly acquired lover-slash-boyfriend-slash-something-in-between.
just by my initial reaction to that alone--realised im not a kid anymore.
years ago--wanted to fall in love.
wanted cookie cutter shapes.
wanted all the cliches, rhymes.
and i got it all.
but bc all of that fell away.
bc i spent two years fixing myself.
starting at ground zero.
realised my priorities have changed.
im now not in denial when i say i want to be selfish.
solely focused on me.
there's actually no part that wants the swept-away sentiments of years previous.
not that im completely tuning it out.
there are just parts of myself that are more important right now than my heart.
for once. thank god. :)
think im happier this way.
dont miss it.
definitely dont welcome it.
and if it does come along--
want them to both need me.
yet loathe me.
somewhat sadistic.
mb the easiest way to stay unaffected. hrm.
a poem not about pandas.
it's not a poem about pandas
theyre just too cute for words
though verses 'bout elephants
i can pen down in herds
though i can say that once 'fore
i acquired two black eyes
smacked my head on concrete
bruised bigger than pies
for a month thereafter
i looked-a panda bear
even with sunglasses
indoors--all would stare
so, ---, im sorry--
the imag'ry is thin
but if you look closely
there's a panda within
theyre just too cute for words
though verses 'bout elephants
i can pen down in herds
though i can say that once 'fore
i acquired two black eyes
smacked my head on concrete
bruised bigger than pies
for a month thereafter
i looked-a panda bear
even with sunglasses
indoors--all would stare
so, ---, im sorry--
the imag'ry is thin
but if you look closely
there's a panda within
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
